Yesterday, me and my fiancé (Riley) decided to take on the challenge of registering at Bed Bath & Beyond for our wedding. After we listened to the helpful employee rant about Calphalon vs. Stainless Steel cookware for a solid 15 minutes, It took us no time at all to realize that we needed to call in reinforcement. We had found ourselves overwhelmed with giant walls filled with spatulas, pizza cutters and measuring spoons, with absolutely no course of action. I’m convinced we started in the wrong section, instead of going to ‘bed’ or ‘bath’, we crashed head first into the ‘beyond overwhelmed’ department. Immediately, I had my grandma on the phone seeking refuge. Before the conversation ended, we had plans to conquer the wedding registry later that day, this time with my grandma and aunt on our team.
As terrifying as that experience was, it’s not much different from how I’ve felt about my life recently. Although I’ll admit that I’m dramatic sometimes, I’m willing to bet most of you can relate to feeling this way at one time or another.
Everyone is at a difference place in their life. I am currently at a place where huge change is coming in about 5 months. I will be getting married. I will be changing my last name. I will be moving into an apartment with a boy. I will be a WIFE. To say that the thought of all that is not overwhelming sometimes, would be a lie.
Riley and I are both dedicated to doing whatever is necessary during our engagement to set the ground work for a successful marriage. We have been reading books together, having intentional conversation and meeting with a wonderful couple who have been helping us talk through and think about things that have been important in their own marriage. While I am extremely thankful for the opportunity to do all of this preparing, I have to admit, when I begin to dwell on it all, it can become overwhelming.
Yesterday I had 45 minute car ride by myself where I could blare my own music and spend time with God. Times like those are rare and precious to me and I was thankful for rest it provided my soul. This idea of being overwhelmed was weighing heavy on my heart because, well, that’s how I’ve been feeling lately. I felt weird about it this time though, wedding preparation is supposed to be a good thing right? It’s highly encouraged by everyone and statistically speaking, the best thing to do for a successful marriage. After pondering these thoughts once again, a quote came to mind that I had found on Pintrest about a year ago that is still so true for me.
If you find yourself a bit irritated or overwhelmed, it’s a sign that you’re spending less time with God and more time with this world.
Woahhh. How true had that been for me? Yes, I was focussing on good things, how to communicate more effectively, how to respect my future husband. But all of those things had started to become a long list of things I could potentially fail at. Satan was getting in my head with all of my little insecurities. I was beginning to fear failure. I had stopped listening to the TRUTH that God says about me.
I am loved. I am redeemed. I am free. I am His.
God is for me! He wants me to succeed!
I am such a words person. I am constantly looking for lyrics to songs that speak to me. Kari Jobe never fails to write and sing songs that speak directly to my heart. On my car ride, I was listening to her song, I Am Not Alone. The one lyric that spoke to me the loudest yesterday was this:
Lord, you fight my every battle; that I will not fear. I am not alone. I am not alone. You will go before me. You will never leave me.
While I’m certainly not suggesting that I am expecting a lot of battles in my marriage, I am seeing this ‘overwhelming’ or anxious feeling as a lie from the enemy. Satan knows just the insecurities to put inside my head to get me worked up. I shall not fear because I am not alone, He will go before me!
I want to share a thought from Jesus Calling by Sarah Young out of her 3/21 entry:
Trust me and don’t be afraid, for I am your Strength and Song. Think what it means to have Me as your Strength. I spoke the universe into existence; My Power is absolutely unlimited! Human weakness, consecrated to Me, is like a magnet, drawing My Power into your neediness. However, fear can block the flow of my Strength into you. Instead of trying to fight your fears, concentrate on trusting Me. When you relate to Me in confident trust, there is no limit to how much I can strengthen you.
I found this thought to be very encouraging. I will not let fighting my fear keep me from the Strength that is offered to me through the Creator. I will spend my time listening to TRUTH and not lies.
I have a God who is for me; a God whose grace is sufficient for me. His Power is made perfect in weakness. When I am weak, he is strong. That is the truth I am believing today.
Your story might look a little different from mine. You might be dealing with other mountains in your life. Satan might be throwing lies at you. Are you spending too much time with this world; thinking of the expectations they have set for you? Or, are you listening to the TRUTH the God speaks about you?
I would love to hear your story. How are you feeling ‘beyond overwhelmed’ and what truth is God trying to speak to you?
Be encouraged, friends.
Sagan, this was so good! Thanks for sharing! I have had some of the same anxieties lately in a different avenue, called parenting! I have had to call upon others to pray when I couldn’t seem to! Marriage has its ups and downs, but you and Riley are putting Christ first and that is the most important! Continue to turn to the scriptures in the “weak” times, the answers are always there!! God bless! Lisa